White Lilies in the Water
by unordinarygirl
Summary: Now that I’m 14 I’ve stopped wishing upon the stars, I’ve stopped hoping that one day he’ll come back to me and everything will be all right. I’m not that naïve anymore. I’m not so simpleminded now...Harry's daughters life after he dissapeared. R
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not ownHarry Potter. Anything you recognis belongs to Jk Rowling, anything else belongs to me.

**Authors Note:** I told youI would put another fic up soon, didnt I? So here it is, in all its glory -cough cough- my fanfic! Set after the war. This chapter is in Lilly's point of view but the rest shouldn't be, unless i change my mind suddenly. Please R&R becauseI hate it when people dont andI may not carry on with the story (laughs evilly). Anyway happy reading...

**PS:** Please feel free to abuse my spelling and gramar in review form. (hint hint)**

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**Chapter 1: Lilies, Memories and White Marble**

**All of my memories keep you near, your silent whispers, silent tears…**

When I was younger at I used to watch all the other kids with their family, laughing and hugging each other. At their birthdays' and Christmas' they used to get presents from their parents and sometimes complained that their father or mother didn't get them what they wanted. I used to stay up at night on those days wishing that I would get something, even a card from my father. I used to look up at the night's sky and look at the stars twinkling above me wondering if my daddy was up there, watching over me.

My mother used to tell me he was a great man, brave, funny, daring and loving. She said he used to hold me and sing a lullaby to put me to sleep, and that I used to rest my head on his chest and breathe in time with his heart-beat.

I sometimes think I can still hear the continuous beat at night, if I listen really closely. I can remember parts of he lullaby, but not all of it. At times it just comes to me and then goes in a sudden. Its comforting knowing that I can still remember it, that I still have some hope to grasp onto.

But deep down I know, I know that he'll never come back. He's gone.

Now that I'm 14 I've stopped wishing upon the stars, I've stopped hoping that one day he'll come back to me and everything will be all right. I'm not that naïve anymore. I'm not so simple-minded now.

I can still remember how much my mother cried when he disappeared. My aunt and uncle came around to our house and tried to talk about it with her, but she wouldn't talk to anyone, except me.

"Everything is going to be ok." She used to tell me stroking my long red hair. I used to believe her, but I'm not sure anymore. I'm not sure about anything.

I'm not even sure if I want him back now. After everything he put us through, all the grief and pain, I'm not sure if I want to see him again. He left us.

They never did find a body, I guess that's why everybody still has hope in him magically reappearing again, not me though. They sent search parties, but not even a trace. I was barely seven at the time, but I can still remember it.

I remember one day when I was young daddy brought me to a place that was magical. It was green, and had huge trees that towered up into the blue sky. There was a stream of crystal clear water that trickled down round pebbles, weaving a continuous path of transparent water in between the gaps. I remember running my fingers through the pure water and it being ice cold, but refreshing. White lilies grew everywhere, filling the air with the sweet smell of flowers and honey. He said this was my place and that if I ever needed him, to just come here and he would be there waiting. I cant remember where it was now.

I keep a picture of him and mummy by my bedside. Mummy is standing with daddy behind her wrapping his arms around her. She is holding a bundle of white blankets with a small head poking through at the end, me. They are both smiling at me and their eyes are twinkling as mummy cradles me back and forth.

You see, it's a moving picture. I'm a witch.

My mother is Ginny Potter; my father was called Harry, Harry Potter. My name is Lilly Potter, and I am a witch.

Today is exactly 7 years since my father disappeared and left us. Every year me and my mother go and visit his empty grave and place one single Lilly on it. Today was no different.

I can remember the day when we "buried" him. My mother insisted that we gave him a proper send-off. Like a funeral, but seeing as there was no body, we filled the coffin with an object from each of us, to remind our selves of what he was. I put in a piece of parchment with simple words on it.

_I'll never forget, daddy._

It was a grey day, nearly raining, but the rain drops held back. Everyone was there, Uncle Ron and Aunty Hermione, my cousins Callie and James, Grandma Molly and Grandpa Arthur, all of my Uncles and Aunts (even Percy showed up), Lupin, Tonks and their two children. Everybody that knew my father came. We were on a hill, near Godrics Hollow, where I live and everybody was clad in black.

When the coffin was shut, with all the memories enclosed, it was lowered onto the ground, next to my dead Grandparent's tombs, Lilly and James Potter. I can remember throwing a white lily onto the hard dark wood of the coffin, and then beams of white light sprung up from the ground around, and enclosed it in a white marble tomb, just like the old wizard Dumbledore's tomb, just like my grandparents tombs, just like the many other dead people's tombs that were killed in the war before my father put an end to it.

On the tomb was engraved a picture of a lily underneath some writing.

**Here lies the memory of Harry James Potter, husband, father and friend. While you are gone, our memories live on.**

Harry Potter. The Chosen One. The Boy Who Lived. My Daddy.

_I'll never forget, daddy, never…_


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter. Anything you recognise is JK Rowlings, anything else is mine!

**Authors note:**Thanks to every one who reviewed!I would have put this chapter up sooner buti couldntlogin for some reason, but im okay! I've tried to make this chapter longer than the first.Please review, as i love to hear what myreaders think and howthey think i could improve on my writing.Sorry about an grammar or spelling mistakes andshall try to get the next chapter up as soon as i can!Happy reading...

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Chapter 2: Goodbye Lullaby**

**Even if it's remembered, a dream is only a dream…**

"_Shush, my flower,_

_Don't you speak._

_Close your eyes_

_And go to sleep,"_

_Green eyes stare down at the child, glistening with a single tear._

"_The stars will watch,_

_And keep you near,_

_While you close your eyes,_

_To stop the fear,"_

_A sad face looks lovingly at his child, who is near slumber. His melancholy smile matches his tearful eyes._

"_Listen to my lullaby,_

_And sleep into the night_

_I'll always protect you,_

_For you I'll always fight…"_

_The little girl closes her almond shaped, emerald eyes and listens to the soothing heartbeat of her father. Her breathing becomes even as he lays her down in the bed and pulls her blankets over the girl's delicate little body; he kisses her on the forehead and heads for the door._

"_Night night, Lilly. I'll come back for you, one day." he says but she doesn't hear him, she's already in her dream world._

_--------------_

Lilly wakes up suddenly, her forehead wet with sweat. She lies there for what feels like hours, staring at the ceiling of her room but she finally decides that she can't remember what woke her from her rest. She closes her eyes again and just like her 7 year old dream-self that had fallen asleep just minutes ago in her sleep she falls into her dream world. The only place she can escape to.

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Lilly sat at her grandparent's table eating her lunch. The sweet aroma and taste of Grandma Molly's food filled her senses while she listened to her family bicker about simple things. The whole family were at the Burrow along with the Lupins. Her cousin, James, and Remus' son Rowan were in the middle of levitating mash potato and making it land "mysteriously" on Uncle Percy's head, who was getting rather annoyed by the perplexing amount of mashed potato appearing on his head.

She looked around at her mother, who was in deep discussion with her Grandpa about something or the other on the other side of the table. Ginny caught her daughter's eye and smiled slightly, then turned back to Grandpa Arthur to continue their conversation.

"Whoa! Lilly watch out!" shouted her ten year old cousin Callie, staring open eyed as James "accidentally" threw mashed potato in her direction. Lilly ducked but the potato followed her head, as though it was a bludger, she jumped under the table but the mash caught up with her and landed, with a splat, on the top of her head.

Slowly she rose from her hiding place and turned to face James. He laughed as her face turned a deep shade of red, a trait she inherited from her mother's side of the family. Ever since a few weeks ago when James turned of age he has been using magic for everything. Lilly erupted.

"JAMES!" she shouted loudly, causing the whole family to stare at the battle about to break out. Lilly headed towards him, breaking into a run with her hands clenched beside her.

Pop! Suddenly James disappeared, leaving Lilly stunned at thin air. She heard a snigger from behind her and spun round only to find James leaning on the wall, looking amused.

"Yes, cousin?" he grinned.

"You are so dead." she muttered and grabbed a spoon-full of potato. She flung it at him, hitting him right on the nose, and world war 3 began.

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_Harry reaches the battered front door and pulls it open. The cold bitter night turns his face numb, but he pulls his cloak hood up and carries on walking. He has to do this now, or never. A twig snaps but he thinks nothing of it, it's probably just a badger on its midnight prowl. _

_He walks down the road, cautiously looking around to check for danger. His ears are alert and his eyes sharp to look out for anything out of place. He stalks the road like a fox, realising that if he doesn't make this, there's no chance for him in the world._

_A noise comes from behind him; he turns around to face a tall hooded figure. The world goes black._

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_No!_ Ginny wakes up suddenly in the night. It's only a dream she reassures herself, just a dream, nothing more. She is hot, and her bed covers are all ruffled. She turns over and closes her eyes, it's in the past she tells her self, and he's gone.

Tears threaten but she holds them back.

She has to get some sleep, tomorrow she is going to the burrow for lunch, and she doesn't want to worry her mum.

_It's only a dream Gin, it means nothing._

She falls into a soft slumber, quickly forgetting the short dream she has just seen, after all, it's only a dream.

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Harry wheezes as he climbs over the tall wall and jumps. His face is bruised and cut and he is sure he has broken a rib. His knee is giving way, causing him to walk with a limp. He is in pain but only has one thing on his mind. With determination he sets off, there's no time to waste.

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"You had better clean this mess up right now, honestly, a food fight! And today of all days! All of you get to work now!" Grandma Molly shouted at the group of children, surrounded by a chaos of mashed potato, treacle tart and peas.

They may not be her own children but Molly Weasley still could intimidate them when she bellowed out her voice, it was one of the only things she could do to them these days.

The food fight had turned out to be horrific in the eyes of Molly. Food was splattered on the walls and all over the floor. All her cooking that she had done hours before had been ruined, so they had to pay the consequences.

James opened his mouth to object but she got in before he had the chance.

"James Arthur Weasley, don't you _dare_ argue with me! You're the one who started this mess. Now all of you I want to see this kitchen spotless!" she turned round before anyone else could complain and joined the other adults in the living room.

The children grumpily set to work.

"You know James, you could just help everyone out and use your wand to clean up this mess." Said Lilly, clearly annoyed with him. "And you Rowan." The two boys exchanged looks and smirked.

"Oh, we could, little cousin of mine. But…I'd rather not help you." James said slyly.

"Tha-" Lilly started to complain but was cut off by a sudden loud tap on the front door. With a confused look at the others Lilly went over and opened it.

She gasped as a tall battered man appeared at the door of the Burrow, he had a scratched and bruised face and his breathing was hoarse and ragged. The man was supporting his stomach as if he had broken a rib and was leaning on one leg. The man stumbled but steadied himself on the wooden door frame. He hoarsely tried to speak, but the quiet words were unheard by Lilly. She called for her mother desperately.

Ginny came to the door.

"What is it Lils?" she asked, but Lilly was still staring at the man. Ginny followed her gaze and her eyes fell upon the helpless stranger at the door.

Her eyes were wide with realisation as she gasped his name.

"Harry?"

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_The woman stalks up and down the dark room, with her hands clasped behind her back._

"_How could you be so stupid? I told you not to let him out of your sight!" she exclaims at the other figure standing in the shadows._

"_I didn't! He did something to me, as though…as though he could read me. I tried to stop him but he just looked at me and I blacked out, I couldn't do anything." The other says, defending himself the best he can. He knows the woman is powerful, too powerful, but he is at her mercy; one flick of her wand and pain could overcome him, like it had so many times before._

"_He was weak! We had him; we could have got it out of him. I could tell he was going to break! How could you not do anything you imbecile, you had your _wand_." She says in a quiet but intimidating voice._

"_Please, I'll do any-" his frightened voice turns into a scream of excruciating pain; he falls to the floor and keels over._

"_Find him," She orders and strides out of the dark room leaving the man whimpering on the cold ground. "and fast."_


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter. Anything you recognise belongs to JK Rowling, anything else is mine!

**Authors note:** Thanks to everyone who reviewed, much appreciated. I hope you like this chapter as I had serious writers-block during the middle of it. Please keep on reviewing, and sorry for any mistakes, feel free to abuse it in review form. Anyways, happy reading…

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Chapter 3: Truth into Nightmares**

**History is a nightmare from which we are trying to awaken…**

The battered form of Harry Potter stumbled past the threshold reaching out to steady himself on anything he could. White faces stared at him with wide eyes, but no one talked, no one dared to. He coughed, they flinched. He fell, they watched. He called for help; they just stood too shocked to do anything.

Finally Ginny broke the stunned silence.

"H-Harry?" There was no reply, just a painful cough. She stepped forward and knelt by his form that lay helplessly on the floor. His breathing was fast and raspy and he clutched his chest protectively.

"Harry, please Harry talk!" Ginny cried shaking him as his breathing became even faster. "Mum! Mum! What's wrong with him? Help him for goodness sake! Mum!" She cried in between sobs to her mother. Tears were falling one after another down her pale cheeks as she stared helplessly at her mother, the one she thought could do anything.

A hand squeezed Ginny's shoulder. It was Lilly; she was staring at Harry cautiously. It was hard for her, to see this helpless man that she knew was her father. Something she should never of seen.

"Harry! Don't do this Harry, please. Wake up! Wake up!" Ginny sobbed, still shaking his lifeless body vigorously. Remus stepped forward with his wand drawn. He knelt down with sympathy in his eyes and pointed his wand at Harry's chest.

"_Enervate_" he whispered. Suddenly Harry heaved and coughed. He turned on his side and tried to pull himself off the floor. As if she had come out of a trance Mrs Weasley rushed forward and helped him into a chair, closely followed by Hermione.

Ginny still was on the floor shaking silently. Her mind was dizzy as she tried to bring to realisation what had happened. _Harry is back, after all this time_. She thought._ He's back…_

The rest of the family were behind her, all silently staring at the familiar figure they all thought to be dead that was now sitting at the kitchen table. The children looked warily at the stranger that they had so many times seen in photographs and heard so many times in stories, but he was real, not fictional like they had thought.

"Harry, you…you look terrible." Said Hermione quietly, he replied by a stiff nod. "We…thought you were dead…but…_your not_." She continued. She pulled him into a tight hug and started crying. Ron came up and stood by their side, with a lopsided smile on his face.

"Its good to see you, mate." Ron said softly

"Help…I need help." He gasped, coughing up blood and doubling over, when Hermione finally let go.

"I-I can help…" Mrs Weasley stuttered but was interrupted by Remus.

"No, I think they might be a bit more severe than normal injuries, Molly. We need to get him to St Mungos." Remus stared at the wounded man before him. How could have this happened? Why now? What happened? Where was he? Thousands of questions entered his mind but he knew they had to wait, there was no other choice.

Remus had never truly forgotten that part of his life. When Harry had disappeared he had moved on, from the marauders, from Harry, but now this had happened and Remus was beginning to regain his past once more. He had married Tonks like he had wanted, had two wonderful and clever children, if not a bit clumsy, but there had always been something missing for him, part of him that wanted to be found but couldn't. Until now, that is.

Harry wheezed, coughed and spluttered. He cried in pain and clutched his stomach in agony. He had come too far to black out now, he had found them and was in safe hands, but he needed to tell them the truth; the whole truth.

His head spun as he coughed up more blood, he could feel the warm liquid shoot up his throat and taste the crude flavour of his own blood on his tongue. He wretched and bent over to vomit, his condition was getting worse – he could feel it.

_I'm dying. I'm really am dying._ He thought bitterly. People gasped around him as he fell to the ground but they were past his concentration, all he could hear now were the screams in his head. His vision unfocused then focused again and again. He covered his ears, trying to block out the blasted screaming but it was still there, filling his mind with memories and noise.

"_You're going to have to break sometime, Potter" _

"_Never!"_

_Screams. Pain. Laughing._

"_Aww, did that hurt the famous Harry Potter? I thought you were meant to be strong. The cure is simple. Just tell me, Potter, and I'll leave you be…for the time being."_

"_NO!"_

_More screams. He crumbles to the floor and the figure leaves him to fall into unconsciousness like he had so many times before._

Flash.

He was back in the burrow on the floor. Blurs of people surrounded him as he rolled around trying to make the screams go away. He screamed as the headache tortured his mind, hurling him into so many memories. His voice was raw and his eyes were watering. He shut them tight, hoping that it would make them go away but they didn't.

Darkness.

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3 days he stayed like that, lifeless and still. 3 days of peaceful darkness for him, of dreamless sleep and rest. 3 days she spent by his side, never taking her eyes off him in case he might slip away from her again. 3 days Lilly stayed next to her mother, talking quietly to her and hoping that her father would come back to them like she had always hoped.

Dreams were becoming reality, and nightmares were becoming truth.

The healers worked their magic on him and he was fully recovering, but there were some things that could not be mended. Everyone had their demons, Harry just had more. When his three days of peace were finished the demons haunted him every minute of the day and night. There was nowhere he could escape to now, no way to rid of the terrible memories inside of him. Only to forget, but he could never really obliterate them.

Every light blinded him, every noise was two hundred times louder to his ears, every smell was overpowering, every touch burned his skin, and there was no way out of this hell hole. When he was at Hogwarts in the hospital wing the white walls had been so boring and St Mungos was no different, if not even more white. He spent all day staring at the bright white walls in front of him, trying to ignore the gnawing inside of him, trying to forget everything.

Ginny had stayed by his side since he had been in hospital. Holding his hand and gently talking to him, filling him in about the past years. He tried to grasp onto the fact that he had missed so much, but it was hard. Lilly was 14 now, she was about to start her fourth year at Hogwarts, there was so much he needed to know, so much he _wanted_ to know.

He had only seen Lilly once since he had been in hospital, when he had woken up. She was standing next to Ginny expressionless. She had been cold and stiff towards him when they had talked, and had rushed off quickly to the Burrow when Mrs Weasley had come to fetch her. He knew she was going to find it hard to accept that he was back again, but he had to try to make her understand.

Starting with the truth.

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_The fox slips between the jumbled dustbins, his ears carefully listening to his surroundings. Twice he is disturbed but only by the odd night-time creature. His curtain of greasy black hair hangs beside his haunted features, hiding the large, hooked nose of the fox. He knocks on a battered door and another man, the traitor, opens the door and lets the fox in, bolting the door behind them._

"_She's becoming restless," the fox spits at the traitor. "I suggest you hurry up."_

"_I'm trying the best I can…"but the fox interrupts._

"_It's not good enough, Pettigrew. We need him back before he tells his _friends_ the truth. Potter can not escape this time. He knows too much" the fox stalks up and down, angrily talking to the traitor._

"_I know…I will do it soon, I promise. He will come to you," the traitor stutters, "soon." _

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Harry lay in bed sleeping while two redheads sat watching, a daughter and a mother. Both were alike yet both were unmistakably different. One loved the man lying in bed resting; the other was learning to hate him, yet both had some unknowable force connected to him, and that could not be helped.

Ginny hadn't left his side for four days now; she was tired and hungry but didn't want to leave his side in case he disappeared again, like he had before.

"Y-you should get some rest, mum. I'll watch him, go home and sleep." Lilly said to her mother, looking concerned. Ginny softly smiled and glanced at her husband.

"Are you sure?" Lilly nodded and her mother rose from the chair. "I won't be long, I promise." She left the room leaving Lilly alone with her father, for the first time in years.

She watched him cautiously, with an ever growing coldness in her eyes. She would never forget what he had done, _never_. She looked at his messy black hair, his emerald green eyes that were so much like hers…wait..._eyes?_

"Lilly?" he whispered hoarsely. Lilly gulped, she didn't want to talk to him, not now, not ever. Her eyes widened in fear, what should she say?

"Y…yes?" she stuttered uncertainly.

"I'm sorry; I never meant to hurt you." Lilly stayed silent, waiting for something but she did not know what. Nothing came.

She said the first thing that came to mind t break the terrible silence.

"How could you?" her voice sounded hurt and angry. She stared at him with daggers in her eyes, but she could feel the tears threatening to fall. There was a pause

"I…I need to tell you something…something important." He said softly, ignoring her question. He sat up in the bed, and turned to face her. "Please, don't be angry I…" she jumped up abruptly scraping the hard wooden hospital chair backwards on the floor.

"No."

"What?"

"I said _no._ Don't tell me anything. I don't want to know."

"Lilly don't be stupid." Harry said.

"No, I wont let you do this." She cried.

"Lilly-"

"Do you know what happened when you left us _father_? Do you know how much pain you put us through, put _me_ through."

"Look Lils, I'm-"

"_Sorry?_ So you've said, but it doesn't fix what you put us through. I stayed up every night hoping that my father would come back to me. Hoping that one day I might get a birthday present, or even a card from my dad. But I never did. I watched all the other kids play happy family, and play games with their dad's and thought '_Why can't that be me? Why can't _I_ be the happy family for once?'_ Do you know why? Because my dad left me, left without even leaving a _note_." Angry tears streamed down her face as her voice grew louder. "You said you would always be there for me, dad. But you weren't. And I will never forget it, _never_." She turned to walk out of the private ward.

"Please, Lilly listen to me…" she turned around quickly, her red hair flailing around her.

"No! You listen to me. September 1st, my first day at Hogwarts. Mum, couldn't come to say goodbye to me. I sat on that station and watched all the other children say goodbye to _both_ their parents. Do you know how that felt? To be the only one on that platform that didn't have anyone to say goodbye, no one to hugor to see me onto the train. Do you?" Harry gaped in surprise at his child, who had tears streaming down her face as she screamed at her own father.

"NO! You don't, because you weren't there. You were never there for me like you said you would be. I gave up hope on you years ago, dad, and I don't plan to trust you _ever_ again." With that she stormed out ignoring Harry's shouting at her; she strode out of St Mungos and onto the muggle high street, not noticing the black cloaked figures watching her every move.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter. Anything you recognize belongs to JK Rowling, anything else belongs to me.

**Authors note: **Ah yes, so here is the next chapter. I'm not really happy with this one, but I needed something to get the story to where I want it and this was all I could come up with. Sorry it's so short, but as I said it's basically a bridge to the next chapter. I'll try to make the next one extra long but don't expect it anytime soon (although I'll try to be quick) because exams are coming up and I need to get my History project finished, I only have two weeks left till deadline! Anyways, on with the story…

**Ps: **I'm still quite new to fan fiction and I know it might sound a bit silly, but could anybody tell be what a BETA is? Thanks…

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Chapter 4: Pieces**

**The distance grows, I'm sinking down**

**And what I lost, it can't be found**

**Although I try**

**Can't find my way**

**Nothing is falling into place…**

'_You were never there for me like you said you would be…' _the words went through her head repeatedly, each time louder than before. _'Like you said you would be… Like you said…' _and it was true, he wasn't there for her, he hadn't been for a long time. That was the point though, he had said he _would_ be, didn't that give her the right to walk out on him, like he had to her?

Honestly, if she had really thought about it the answer was no. But she was angry, and irrational and hurt, so the answer was _yes,_ she did have the right.

Yet it still didn't give her the satisfaction as she had thought it would, she needed more.

Lilly set out down the alley way, heading towards Knockturn Alley. She knew just where to go, God forbid.

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_Flash_

"_Where are your family now, Harry? No one to get you out this time, it's just you and me…I'm sure you're honoured."_

"_I've had better company to be honest" He whispered hoarsely, he didn't care about the consequences anymore; it was rather like a daily routine for him…_

"_Crucio!"_

_He screamed in agony, his nerves exploding in pain. He tried to brace himself, but he knew it was no good, the pain was too excruciating. It felt like it was going to go on for ever and ever and…_

_It stopped._

"_Why do this to yourself, Potter? Why not just tell me? There's no point in protecting your family now, they've all forgotten about you. No-ones going to rescue you, so we've got all the time in the world."_

_He resisted the temptation to answer back, so she wouldn't curse him again. She did anyway and his body exploded. After all, Bellatrix Lestrange was a woman of little mercy._

_Flash_

His breathing became rapid as he shouted for his daughter. He called out her name again and again, but there was no answer, no one to calm his thoughts. He was alone in the ward, and he didn't like it.

His body was shaking and his eyes welled with tears as he screamed himself raw for Lilly. He worriedly looked around the room, the white walls feeling ever more intimidating. He had no space yet the ward was empty. He thrashed around screaming for anyone. His forehead grew sticky with sweat and his face pale and cold.

Suddenly a jolt of pain went through his body, setting his senses on fire. The pain was too much to handle as his body curled up into a ball, crying in pain. He could hear screams, of his mother and his father and another sound he had never heard before, a high ear-splitting screech of joy. A chill went down his spine and the pain increased tenfold.

_I told you there was no escape Potter, didn't I? _

He could hear voices, ones that he had only heard in dreams and nightmares…and another that he had only heard in battles, but the voice and the owner was long gone.

_And there isn't. I will haunt you forever…murderer…_

No! He couldn't take it, the pain was overpowering. He could feel his heart begin to falter and his lungs close tight because of his rapid breathing. The echoes of the screams grew louder, blocking out all other sounds. The ceiling above him spun around him as his body collapsed.

His world went black.

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"Vermin," They hissed.

"Blood traitor," They chanted

"Scum," They taunted.

They beat her, kicked, punched, and sneered at her. They felt no need to use magic; they found it more…satisfying to use physical violence. They twisted her arms behind her back and tied them with invisible rope. They pulled her off the hard cold ground, bruised and bleeding and pushed her through a door nearby. Once through the door they shut her in a small cold grey room, and bound her to the wall. They kept at least one person with her at all times, allowing them to torture and tease her to the brink of death, though not over.

They had other plans for her.

She was brought no food or water, just left there to endure the pain of torture. They broke and bent her bones, twisted and tore her skin up to shreds. But Lilly Potter was strong and she refused to give up.

Yet all she could do was wait and hope.

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It was all over the newspapers the next day. Famous Harry Potter was back from the dead, only to fall out with his only daughter, who went missing afterwards, followed by him having an attack. The _Prophet_ had a field day. His relatives, however, did not.

Ginny sat at the Burrow's kitchen table, alone. She stared at the family clock, which through the years had sprouted more hands. Her eyes were focused on one hand only, Lilly's hand. Sure, if Harry's hand was up there she would have been looking at his too, but as he had been thought dead for the last few years there was no hand for him.

_We'll have to get him one soon…_ she thought. But then was distracted by Lilly's hand that just moved from _Mortal Peril _to _Travelling._ Ginny gasped and silently watched for longer, hoping that it would suddenly move to _Home_, but it didn't: it just moved back to _Mortal Peril_ again.

Tears welled up in her eyes as she thought of where her daughter could be. Years ago she would have thought that there would be a chance that death eaters would have her, but she knew there were no death eaters left; not since Voldemort had been defeated.

So where was she? Ginny didn't know the answer, but she knew that her daughter was in danger, and no-one in the Weasley family had been placed in _Mortal Peril_ for years – so it must be serious.

Ginny let out a sob, and covered her face with trembling hands. How could she have let it happen? If only she hadn't gone home to sleep none if this would've happened. It was all her fault and she would never forgive herself.

Salty tears trickled quietly down her pale freckled face. She was shaking with grief. So much had happened since that day Harry had come back.

She thought it was going to be all right, her life had been slowly falling into place, but then the pieces had been shattered again. Ginny couldn't help but think that all of it was her fault, and there was nothing she could do.

It was strange that even after death; Voldemort could still ruin people's lives. That he could still ruin _her_ life.

There was no escape for her, no where to go, no one to go to. She was stuck in an abyss of pain and all because she had gone home to rest.

_Where are you Lilly?_

-----------

_Help me mum. _She thought. _Some-one, please. _

She screamed in agony as another curse hit her. Her body tried to wrestle itself off the wall, but the binds were too strong. Her legs and arms writhed in pain, just making the torturers laugh even more.

Again they cursed her, using their cruel sport as entertainment. Her nerves were exploding, and there was no way out.

She couldn't help but think that this was another one of his broken promises. He had said that he would protect her always, then where was he?

"I'll ask you again, mudblood, where is your father?" a tall heavy-lidded woman spat.

Lilly caught her breath and managed to answer her interrogators hoarsely.

"I have no father."


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter. Anything you recognize belongs to JK Rowling, anything else belongs to me.

**Authors note: **Yes, yes, I know I took a bit. And yes, I know it's a tad shorter than normal. But who cares? I for one do not. I am more concerned on the contents of this chapter, and what you think about it. So please, please, please REVIEW! It really annoys me when people don't review, it makes me feel…rejected and as though nobody enjoys my writing so there is no point in writing this story anymore. I mean, out of the few hundred people who have read this, how many of you have reviewed? 12! That's pathetic, I'm sorry, but it is. Please, please review. I want at least more than 7 reviews for this chapter, no matter what it says. And if you do review I shall reward you with an extra long chapter next time, one that is extra good, and extra cool! Enough of my rambling…enjoy!

**

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Chapter 5: Disappearing act…**

**My life's the lies of you and i…**

Missing. That's what she was, and that's what she remained. Only some knew the truth, and they usually were on the wrong side.

Harry had his suspicions; after all, he had to tell them the truth, after all that had happened. They had not taken it well.

Who could blame them too? What would you have done if you were told that the battle you had thought had been finished had once again reincarnated. Bellatrix and her army of death eaters were back, to avenge their master, finally.

It had taken them all by surprise, who wouldn't be? But one thing Harry definitely knew was that Lilly hadn't disappeared on her own accord, or by coincidence. It was the death eaters, he could tell. But there was nothing he could do except look.

Weeks went by, with endless searches for young Lilly Potter. Weeks turned to months; they even searched the muggle world, but no sign of the young redhead. For all they knew she could be dead, but they didn't give up.

Harry recovered and came home, he started to live a normal life despite the fact that his only child was missing, despite his demons. Ginny admired his courage, but she knew that he was hurting inside – like she was. When Harry had gone it was as if a part of her had been ripped out, but he had come back, and the part had slowly been stitched up. Or so she thought, until Lilly had disappeared and had picked at the threads and torn them out, taking her heart with it. Harry wasn't there most of the time; his mind was always somewhere else even though his body was present.

It just wasn't the same.

-------

Nothing was the same anymore.

Her life had been tipped upside down. She had entered the impossible, the forbidden…and she liked it. She stuck to her words. She had no father, or mother anymore. She was alone in the world, to fight her own battles side by side with her mentor. The most powerful woman she had ever known. Her idol. Her leader. The one she wanted to be…

"Are you ready?"

She gulped.

"Always,"

And all this for revenge.

-------

"Where are they?"

"They're making their way towards Diagon Alley." She replied, map in hand. Her eyes darted side to side as she watched the little labelled dots move around the parchment. Hundreds of them like a swarm of Bees crowding around a honey pot.

She could see familiar names, and some not – obviously new recruits. Nott, Macnair, Rookwood, Mulciber, Rosier, Jugson and Malfoy were all in there, crowding around one figure. Bellatrix Lestrange. The brown eyed matured figure of Hermione Granger shuddered as she thought of what the woman was capable of. No-one but Harry's close family and friends knew about her return, but she had the feeling that was soon to change.

The dots started to move along the alleyway, splitting off into groups. Hermione kept her eyes on Bellatrix as she made her way towards the crowded streets of Diagon Alley, with only a few trailing behind her. Malfoy was one of them, and her slightly dim husband Rodolphus. Her eyes caught sight of another dot following closely behind Bellatrix, but before she could read the name, it disappeared, just like the others before it.

"Go!"

-------

Any minute now, just another few seconds and she'll know, know that it was all worth it. At the age of 14 she had come a long way, but this was the big test. She would finally know.

She stood there face covered in the skull shaped mask, eyes determined beside her mistress. She watched the screaming and torturing, the killing and pain and didn't feel anything towards them, not even pity. She had been ordered to wait, and so she would. She observed the others doing their job, their sport. They laughed at the pain, she did now. There were times when she would have been revolted and sickened, even scared (although she hated to admit it) at her fellow death eater's behaviour. But that was then, this was now.

Pop! Pop! Again and again the noise sounded between the screams of innocent people, Aurors appeared, wands drawn and soon jets of lights zoomed between the Death Eaters and the Aurors.

"Its time," said a calm, cold voice beside her. She looked up at the tall woman and nodded. They both stepped forward and walked into the crowd, in the opposite direction of the battle.

There was no going back now.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter. Anything you recognize belongs to JK Rowling, anything else belongs to me.

**Authors note: **How quick was that? Very quick, if you ask me. Ok, so reviews are getting better but I still want more. I've decided that I won't update next until I have at least 24 reviews. So you better get reviewing! Not as long as I hoped for but its longish (for my standards). Oh, and ages ago I asked a question but nobody replied, so I'll ask again. Can someone please tell me what a BETA is? Lol, I know it's probably a stupid question but please answer me! Thanks for reading so far, and enjoy!

**

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Chapter 6: Lost and Found**

**Revenge, one for the lost and the lonely, ending each day with if only…**

Lilly watched the two head to head, behind the shadows. Bellatrix had told her to stay there until she was called. She obeyed without question. Her father and her Mentor together in battle, both capable of great or terrible things. Both strong and stubborn, both _Heroes _in their own worlds, and both had been admired by Lilly Potter.

Lilly's dark robes were hot, and the skull mask she hid behind made her face sweaty. It was the first time she had properly worn the robes. She had been presented with them only a day ago – it had honoured her. She had been told that years ago she would have been presented with a mark, a mark that bound her forever with the dark force. But only the oldest Death Eaters bore it now, boasting that they had been chosen by the Dark Lord himself. They called it the Dark Mark. It intrigued her deeply. The way that it was delicately 'branded' just underneath the skin by a powerful charm, or so they had told her, and the way that it was said to burn when the person was required by the Dark Lord. She envied the carriers of such an honour and wished that she could have it, right there on her left forearm for the world to see it. But she knew she never could. The Dark Mark had stopped years ago, when the Dark Lord had fallen he had taken the knowledge of how to brand it with him. And so the infamous ritual of the Branding had stopped, to be replaced by the Robe Presentation. Although not as high an honour as the Branding, it was still a worthy ceremony. Only true Death Eaters were presented with them by Bellatrix Black – like Lilly was.

The fight was getting tenser every moment. Each curse or jinx was countered by one even greater seconds afterwards. It was hard to follow the battle, what with the two figures dancing with the curses, dodging the jinxes. Once in a while one of them would be hit shortly followed by falling to the floor in agony, or a scream in pain. It was a never ending game of chance. One wrong move and you were out, finished, done for, dead.

They were alone, the three of them, in an alleyway not far from the main attack. They had lured Potter there knowing that his stubborn need to save the day would be enough to guaranty that he would follow. They had been cunning and sly, the two virtues that were needed for a good trap, and in the end it had paid off. They had got him and the plan was about to go into full action.

"We can't pay games all day Potter." taunted Bellatrix.

"Sirius always did say you were terrible at chess." Harry retorted, firing another curse. Bellatrix dodged it and turned viciously towards him. She smirked.

"How's that _dear_ child of yours anyway Potter? Last I heard she _disappeared, _just like that." She snapped her fingers at the last word, teasing him. "Did she finally see the traitor hiding behind that heroic mask of yours? Did you drive her away?"

His green eyes flashed dangerously at her, daring her to continue. She remained silent, waiting for him to pounce as she knew he would.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, '_Bella_, but I don't remember you being the perfect little Death Eater," he spat, "I'm sure that I can think of a few things that your fellow members would take a slight…interest in." Her eyes widened.

"I can think of a few things for you too. I'm sure Lilly would love to here them."

"An empty threat, 'Bella, you know as well as I do Lilly's gone…"

"I know a lot more than you do." She interrupted, eyes glinting with mischief. She shot a curse at him, but he ducked and rolled onto the floor, firing one at her doing so. They swapped curses, dodging them every time.

"Where is she?" he asked, his voice determined.

"Who?" she innocently replied.

"You know damned well who. Tell me!"

"Oh, I can't _tell _you," she stood up straight, playfully grinning at him, "No, I can do much better than that." And slowly her arm rose, she pointed to a corner close by and flicked her wrist up. A figure rose from the darkness, clad in black and face covered behind a white skull shaped mask.

"Hello, _Father_."

-------

Children screamed, separated from their parents. Hundreds lay on the cobbled ground motionless. Spells flew over peoples heads, bringing people to the floor to add numbers to the taken. Many tried to escape but there was no way out; they had cut off the floo network and warded the apparition points after the few aurors had arrived. They were trapped in chaos, defenceless and innocent. Not ready to have their lives snatched away.

And all they could do was hope and wait.

-------

Hermione tore down the street, firing curses at her attackers. She had to find Harry; he needed to know she was here.

A little girl stood crying in fear as a tall masculine figure loomed above her. Her parents must have been killed or captured thought Hermione. She couldn't bear watching it, she had to do something.

The man lifted his wand and pointed it at the girls trembling face, showing little mercy.

"_Cru-_"

"NO!" Hermione dived at the man's legs, knocking him down. She jumped up and pulled out her wand. "Give me _one_ good reason why I shouldn't blow you up right now." She threatened through gritted teeth.

"I should have known it was you, _Granger_. Only a mudblood like you would do something like this to your superior." The Death Eater spat, revealing his face from behind the mask as he stood up briskly.

"Malfoy," Hermione muttered, recognising the blonde hair and cold grey eyes at once.

"I see your intelligence hasn't faltered all these years, at least that's something." He smirked, picking up his wand and pointing it at her. "Now step aside mudblood and let me finish this runt off." He motioned to the small girl, still silently quivering behind the bushy headed Hermione.

She stood firm to one spot, trapping Draco.

"Have it your way." He shrugged, he silently flicked his wand and Hermione was blasted to the floor before she could react. She lay there, quite still as he looked at her tranquil body. She was still alive; he had only used the reducto curse on her. He bound her with invisible ropes and levitated her body. He could use her, and he could be deeply rewarded for this.

It was likely that Hermione Granger would never see her blood-traitor family again.

-------

"N-no," he stuttered falling backwards over his feet. He scrambled to the wall behind him, and picked him self up. They kept coming closer and closer, approaching his stuttering and stumbling body. He couldn't believe his eyes. His _daughter_ was a death eater. It couldn't be, could it?

Everything he had ever fought for, everything his parents had died for, she was part of it. She was one of _them._ It wasn't right, it just wasn't.

Yet he still loved her, as much as he ever had.

"Lilly?"

She nodded in response. He reached out for her, but she avoided his grasp, stepping back.

"L-Lilly, its okay now, I'm here." He said, trying to bring her round. She laughed coldly, bringing shivers to his neck. She shook her head, and stepped forward reaching out a hand to him. He stepped forward to clasp it but she quickly withdrew it, making him fall to the ground again.

He looked up into her green eyes, disbelieving what she had just done. He searched the emerald pools of water for some sort of recognition but nothing came. Lilly was out of reach from him, she had changed.

"What happened?" he whispered, no expecting an answer.

"Cant you see? It's all your fault." She replied, and turned without a second glance to walk back to her mentor. They walked back together, leaving him there to stare as his daughter left him…forever.

-------

"Hermione!" he called, looking desperately around for her. She should've come back by now. Something was wrong. "Hermione! HERMIONE!" the place was deserted now, except for the dead bodies sprawled on the ground. Diagon Alley was a ghost town.

He headed towards the nearest empty shop, determined to find her.

"No point looking there, Weasley." A cold voice sounded from behind him. He quickly turned round to see a black hooded figure watching him.

"What?" he questioned, staring suspiciously at the figure. He couldn't risk t curse him, in case what he had to say was important.

"I said, there's no point looking over there," he repeated mysteriously. "She's gone; you won't be able to find her now."

"Who are you? Where is she?" Ron asked, worried about his wife.

"Never mind that, you'll never find her. You might as well give up." The man replied. Ron looked around, hoping that the familiar bushy brunette would pop out from behind him.

"Tell me who you are." He continued firmly. But the man was gone.

-------

_No! Lilly, what happened? Why are you doing this? You had such a good life. Let me explain, I can explain everything. It doesn't have to be like this, we could start again. Please, Lilly, don't do this. Please, don't. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry._

-------

_I have vengeance, at last. You thought that I was gone, didn't you father? Thought I was dead. But no, you were wrong yet again. I chose this, it was my decision. And no, I'm not sorry, I never will be. I don't have to be like you. I don't _want_ to be like you. All those lies, how could you do it? I admit you had me fooled for a bit. I thought you had really come back to me. But I wish you never had, I liked it better when I didn't know you. She told me you know; everything about what you did. You started this, started it with the deceit. The war is not over…it's only just begun._


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter. Anything you recognize belongs to JK Rowling, anything else belongs to me.

**Authors note: **I know I took a very long time to write this chapter, but life intervened etc. It's a bit too short for my liking, andI know its not my best chapter so far, but I'll have to live with it like this.

I am once and for all defeated by reviews (or the need of them). I am never to moan again about the lack of them after this one complaint (unless the circumstances change). So here goes:

Please, please review! I really need more reviews! PLEASE! They're the only thing keeping me going. One of the reasons I stopped writing my other fic was because no-one reviewed! PLEASE! I'm begging you! REVIEW!

Thank you. :)

**

* * *

Chapter 7: Trapped **

**But there's nothing I can say to change the things I've done…**

"Are you sure Harry?"

"Of course I'm sure, it was her Ron, I'm positive."

"But…that means…she can't be Harry…she wouldn't! It's not like her…" Ron paced up and down the living room of Godrics Hollow, agitated and tired. It didn't add up, nothing made sense. Lilly, a death eater? Why?

"It could've been Polyjuice potion…or the imperious curse! Yes! It must be-"

"No, Ron. It was her…I can tell." Harry sat exhausted in an arm chair. They had only just got back from Diagon Alley, and everyone else was at the Burrow.

If he was honest they needed Hermione; she was the one who was good at these sorts of things. She thought. They did. It was how the trio had always done things. But with the brains of their team gone, they had to think for themselves this time.

"It doesn't make sense. Why would she do it? I mean…I can think of a few things, but nothing that would make her do something like this…"

"Stupid?" Harry finished for him. The red head nodded in response.

"I dunno mate, it just doesn't seem _right_."

And indeed it wasn't right. Not right is in fact an understatement, but there was nothing they could do to make it back to normal.

Right, thought Harry, was one of the things that lately was going completely wrong.

------

The crowd parted as Bellatrix Lestrange walked towards her place, shortly followed by Lilly on her right side, and Severus Snape on her left. They stepped up onto the raised platform, where three stone thrones stood, all engraved carefully.

The most important throne, and the biggest, was in the middle of the three. Snakes with emerald eyes were carved up the sides entwined with intricate designs. On the arched back of the throne, in bold letters was carved four words. _Power. Knowledge. Strength. Immortality._

The three people sat, in the expected order, in the thrones. The congregation of Death Eaters all stood expectedly looking at the tall woman in the middle, waiting for her to begin. She raised her head, searching the crowded chamber for who she wanted. She saw him, and began.

"You have pleased me. Some more than others, yet I am satisfied with your work." She said in her harsh, cold voice. "I trust you all have realised that this attack was not _just_ for fun. We have alerted the wizarding world that we are still here, to avenge our Lord finally. They think that we did it all for that, but there is another reason, my friends, one that we must _all_ bring to our attention.

"Harry Potter escaped from us a few months ago, thinking that he could defeat us too. But his foolishness brought us the best thing that he could've given us. His _daughter_," She motioned to her right, were Lilly sat. "And now, once again our _Hero_ has given us a present, by falling for our trap today." She pointed to someone in the crowd, "Bring the prisoner in, Malfoy." She ordered.

Suddenly the doors at the side of the chamber burst open. Two men in black robes pulled in a struggling person, whose face was hidden in the shadows. The figure was pushed in front of Bellatrix' feet, where it lay, breathing rapidly.

"Stand," commanded Bellatrix. The being obeyed, showing their bruised and bleeding face to the crowd. They smirked in recognition to the beaten person standing there. The death eaters smirked and taunted for a while, while the person just staggered and stumbled around the large room, until finally Bellatrix interrupted their game.

"Silence," she said, "face your superiors child, be polite."

The figure turned slowly and painfully, Lilly gasped as she recognised the bloody face.

"No!" she whispered to herself. But her pleas where not heard above the ear-splitting screams of pain as Bellatrix fired the Crucio curse at the prisoner.

------

Hermione limped as fast as she could down the lane. She could see the silhouette of the burrow against the horizon. She continued towards it with all her might, her leg hurting a little bit more every step she took.

She got to the door and threw herself against it, ready to break the door down just to get to safety. The door opened fast to reveal the tired form of Ron.

"Ron…" she whispered faintly, and jumped into his arms. Behind the reunited couple stood the rest of the family, anxiously looking at the bushy haired woman currently hugging her husband.

Hermione broke apart from Ron, and looked at Harry.

"Harry….she was there…Lilly…I saw her on the map... I tried to tell you but you were gone…and then…"

"Hermione, it's okay," he interrupted, "I know. We're just glad your back, its all going to be alright."

"But how?" she asked, but before anyone could answer that Ron interrupted.

"We'll tell you everything later," clearly not wanting for everyone to know what Harry and him had been discussing earlier. "But you need to get some rest now." She reluctantly nodded. Later would do for her.

------

The letters came flying in on the morning of July the 26th, the day after the attack at Diagon Alley. From upstairs in the Burrow you could hear an excited squeal of a young girl, despite the gloomy atmosphere remaining from the day before.

As Callie-Rose Jane Weasley sat eating her breakfast that morning, three barn owls came swooping through the window and landed in a row on the table. In unison the creatures held out their legs to the girl, who responded by untying the individual letters bound to their limbs. The owls each dipped their beaks into her pumpkin juice and flew off again, leaving Callie to inspect the letters further.

She turned the first over in her hand, and as soon as she recognised the seal of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, she let out a squeak of excitement. Three letters; one for Callie, one for James and…_who could the other one be for?_ She thought. Bill and Fleur's child Charlotte was living France, and she wasn't going to Hogwarts anyway, she was going to Beauxbatons, so it couldn't be her.

She opened the yellowish envelope addressed to her and read the letter enclosed.

_HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY_

_Headmistress: Minerva McGonagall_

_Dear Miss Weasley,_

_We are pleased to inform you that you have a place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment._

_Term begins on 1st September. We await your owl by no later than 31st July. _

_Yours sincerely,_

_Remus Lupin_

_Deputy Headmaster_

Her serious expression turned into a broad grin as she read it. She had completely forgotten about Hogwarts; what with all the commotion going on. At least she had one good thing to look forward to now.

Ever since after the war, Remus had come clean about his 'furry little problem'. The newspapers had their glory discriminating his reputation. But after a while the wizarding world just became used to having a werewolf in their society. Nobody thought twice now about him teaching their children, so McGonagall had invited him back. He was the first teacher for a long time that had stayed on the Defence Against the Dark Arts post for more than a year, and by far one of the best teachers Hogwarts had seen for a long time.

"Morning, Cal," said a yawning Ron as he came down the stairs into the Kitchen. He pecked his daughter on the cheek and grabbed a piece of toast from the table. "I see you've got your Hogwarts letter." He smiled, just as Hermione came down the stairs.

"Mum! Look," Callie squealed as she showed her mother the letter. Hermione congratulated her and settled down on the table.

"I knew they would come soon." Hermione said as she poured her cup of pumpkin juice. "I better wake up James; I haven't seen him since yesterday."

"I'll go!" exclaimed the bushy haired girl, and ran up the stairs. The two adults sat in comfortable silence as they ate breakfast. Ron scanned the newspaper for anything new about the attack. Nothing new was there that he and Harry hadn't discussed the night before, so he put the paper down and picked up the two remaining letters on the table.

He stared at the address with amazement. It was almost impossible.

_Miss L. Potter_

_The Kitchen_

_The Burrow_

_Ottery St Catchpole_

Why would Lupin send the letter to the Burrow? Surely he had heard that she had joined the other side? How could he of possibly not? Everybody else knew!

"Ron?" Ron looked up startled. Hermione was looking at him with a concerned face. "Is everything ok?"

He gulped and slowly handed the envelope to his wife. She took it and read the address. Her mouth dropped open as she read it again and again, expecting it to change any minute then.

"H-How? I mean – Lupin knows – Doesn't he? W-w-why?" she stuttered, looking desperately at Ron, who had an equally bewildered look upon his face. He shrugged, and was about to open his mouth when he was interrupted by a breathless Callie, standing in the staircase.

"Dad! Its James…H-he's gone!"


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter. Anything you recognize belongs to JK Rowling, anything else belongs to me.

**Authors note: **Ok, so here it is. I'm off school for summer vacation now so I can update quicker. This chapter is a bit dark if you ask me, but I wanted to get through to the readers what everybody feels, and I think this just about sums it up. I'll try to make the next chapter a bit more light though, happy reading!

**

* * *

Chapter 8: Letters**

**Yes there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run  
there's still time to change the road you're on…**

He was family.

He was one of _them_.

He was hurt.

And it was all because of her.

He was the enemy.

But he was her family…

Blood is thicker than water, right? Then why was she sitting on the side, watching the blood fall?

------

She watched her plan unravel. She saw the guilt in the girl's eyes as the boy was tortured. She saw her flinch at every pain–filled scream. At every cry for help it was there, the regret, the remorse.

The green eyes flickered between the flash of lights to the boys bloody face. She saw the need to help him in her expression…she saw it only too well.

------

It was dark when he awoke. His eyes stung and his mouth was parched. He tried to look where he was but he couldn't see anything. It was cold, and every part of his body hurt.

He was upright, that was for sure, and his arms were strung up by large metal manacles. He tried to move into a more comfortable position but it was no good, he was chained up, and it hurt too much.

His lungs were tight, making it hard to breathe. It was too much of an effort to even try to open his bleeding lips to cry for help. He tried to remember what had happened but most of it was a blur.

He could just remember a room, full of people…and someone he knew…but who he didn't _know_…they had laughed at him, and thrown things…then there was a jet of light…someone's stern voice ordering something…a gasp…and green eyes…familiar green eyes…he had screamed, a lot…and pain, so much pain…he had cried for help, but no one had come…and he knew no more.

------

She watched him from the corner. sitting, cradling her knees closely, she watched as he hung unconscious on the wall.

"_JAMES!" she shouted loudly, causing the whole family to stare at the battle about to break out. Lilly headed towards him, breaking into a run with her hands clenched beside her. _

_Pop! Suddenly James disappeared, leaving Lilly stunned at thin air. She heard a snigger from behind her and spun round only to find James leaning on the wall, looking amused._

"_Yes, cousin?" he grinned._

Cousin… would a cousin do this to him?

"_You know James, you could just help everyone out and use your wand to clean up this mess." Said Lilly, clearly annoyed with him. "And you Rowan." The two boys exchanged looks and smirked._

"_Oh, we could, little cousin of mine. But…I'd rather not help you."_

A single tear protruded from her emerald eye, trickling its way down her pale cheek and finally, falling to the hard stone floor. One after the other more tears began to fall. She let out a small sob, but soon covered her mouth with her hand, so no one could hear her.

She was sorry. If only he knew that. She was sorry for everything. She was sorry…so, so sorry.

_Shush, my flower,_

_Don't you speak._

_Close your eyes_

_And go to sleep_

_The stars will watch,_

_And keep you near,_

_While you close your eyes,_

_To stop the fear_

_Listen to my lullaby,_

_And sleep into the night_

_I'll always protect you,_

_For you I'll always fight…_

The lullaby…her lullaby was the only thing keeping her going. Just remembering it reminded her of all his broken promises…but for what?

She had joined the other side to gain revenge. But all she could see now was pain, and regret. She couldn't turn back now, not after what she had done, and anyway they had probably forgotten about her by now…

"Who's there?" called a hoarse voice from within the cell. She gasped and looked up. James was awake but he was still, probably too hurt to move.

She backed up against the wall and pulled herself up. Wiping her tears with her sleeve she quietly headed towards the door on the other side of the chamber. She reached out for the handle but suddenly stopped.

She turned slowly and carefully walked up to James. She stood by his side just looking at him.

"Who are you?" He asked quietly. She did not answer, but instead she lifted the hood of her robe away from her face. He still didn't recognise her.

"It's me," she whispered, and touched his cheek with her pale slender hands. He took in a sharp jagged breath and flinched, making her pull away.

"It's me…Lilly." She repeated softly. Their stare met and his eyes flashed in recognition.

"No!"

"I'm sorry…" she began

"Get out." He commanded, in a steady voice.

"James," but she didn't finish. One look at his face and she knew it was time to go. Lifting her hood up again she slowly paced her way across the room towards the door. With a last look at her cousin she unbolted the door and opened it, stepping out into the torch lit hall of the Death Eater's Dungeon.

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Hermione sat at the table alone. With her head in her hands tears fell down her face. They had done everything, searched everywhere, but the only explanation for James' disappearance was simple; Death Eaters.

All her life she had relied on books for the answers. A problem had always been solved with the library. But with some things, books could not answer, or even explain. For instance a mother's love is indescribable. But a mother's pain for a lost one is even more so.

The others were out searching for him, but she knew he wasn't going to be found. He was with the Death Eaters, and when they didn't want something to be found, there was no point looking for it.

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Ginny bent over her kitchen sink with a piece of parchment in her hand. Tears trickled down her face as she read the letter she held.

_Dear Mother,_

_You don't know how hard it is for me to write this letter, or how many times I have had to rewrite it. _

_The last few months, I think it is safe to say, have put us all under a great deal of pain. At the beginning of the Holidays I thought I had my life thought over. But then with father's return it made my head jumble up. I didn't know what was right or wrong anymore, and I think that is where all this began._

_I would like to tell you what really happened to me after my argument with father. That day, when I stormed out of the hospital, I walked to Knockturn alley. I wasn't really thinking I was so upset and angry. Before I knew it I was being beaten up, by these people. They called me names and kicked me until I bled. They took me to a building, where they asked me lots of questions. They asked where my father was, but I didn't tell them because I knew they were going to hurt him more. I just wanted you to know, that after all he did, I still protected him._

_From that day on, Bellatrix Lestrange trained me. I know it may sound weird but she protected me in a way. The Death Eaters took me in, and made a home for me._

_Everything was going well for me. That was until today at least and now everything has changed._

_Draco Malfoy brought in a new prisoner, who they had purposely arranged to capture while everyone was fighting in Diagon Alley the other day. You fell for the trap, and with your own stupidity caused us to capture him; James is at our mercy now, and its all Harry's fault._

_I visited him today, in his cell. He couldn't even look at me. It hurt me, a lot, and I now know that I am being immoral; he caused me to see the truth._

_I don't blame you, mum. You of all people I don't blame. I blame famous Harry Potter. He was the one that caused all this, and I can't forgive him. _

_I know that I have done wrong, and I am truly sorry for it. I regret leaving you, and I regret writing this letter. But know, that I do love you mum, and I always will. I'm sorry if I've hurt you, and for the future I apologize in advanced. But I can't turn back now, I owe too much to them._

_I can only promise you one thing. I will try to keep James safe for as long as I can. I know they have a plan for him, but I don't know what. _

_Sorry,_

_Lilly_


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter. Anything you recognize belongs to JK Rowling, anything else belongs to me.

**Authors note: **There is no excuse for my lateness. I shall hang my head in shame for keeping you waiting (if anyone is actually reading this fiction). Sorry! I just got caught up with the holidays! I'll be quicker next time…promise!

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**Chapter 9: Run**

**And we'll run for our lives  
I can hardly speak, I understand  
Why you can't raise your voice to say...****Sorry**

"Hey," said a soft voice. Ginny looked over her book to see a puffy eyed Hermione standing on the living room's threshold. "I let myself in…" she explained, awkwardly pointing behind her as a sort of reference to the front door.

"Come in," Ginny beckoned, putting her book down and pointing to a large leather arm chair beside the one she was sitting on. Hermione gently sat down, reaching out to warm her hands on the blazing fire.

They sat in silence for a while, each thinking of what to say.

"I…I heard," Ginny mumbled pathetically. "you know, about James." Hermione gulped and looked distantly at the fire. "Oh, 'Mione, I'm so sorry…"

"It's not your fault," She interrupted, coming out of her dazed expression as quickly as she had gone in. "I guess I'm just gonna have to except that he…he's gone." She stuttered, half heartedly.

"We'll get him back, I know we will."

Hermione snorted. "I know I should believe that. But…every time some one says that it makes me a little less convinced that we are." Ginny looked sympathetically at her friend, who had tears glittering in her eyes.

She sighed; she was going to have to tell her about the letter…she hadn't even told Harry about it, how could she just spring it on her like that?

"He's going to be OK, I promise you."

"You don't know that…"

"Yes I do… 'cause he's with Lilly." With that Hermione looked at her friend with surprise. Ginny hadn't talked about her daughter since the search party had come back and told them that they couldn't find her. All she had done after that was sit in the kitchen or her bedroom staring out the window, crying.

Ginny gulped, "The other day…she…sent me a letter." Hermione watched as Ginny silently reached into her robe pocket and brought out a crumpled piece of parchment. With shaking hands she held it out for Hermione, who took it slowly, and unfolded it.

She gasped and covered her mouth with her hand as she recognised the spindly scrawl of her niece. The bushy brown haired witch read the letter over several times, trying to analyse what it meant.

"It…it was a trap!" she whispered, her eyes shutting slowly as a single tear rolled down her cheek. Ginny nodded, trying to fight back the tears again.

It just hurt so much. After all she had done for her daughter, supporting her through her childhood; she couldn't get over the fact that she would betray her family just for _revenge_. She hadn't taught her daughter to do that, she had taught her to forgive and forget to have some _moral importance _in her life, to learn the difference between right and wrong. She was upset and angry and scared, but most of all, she was disappointed. Disappointed in Lilly and disappointed in herself. But the worst part of it all was that there was nothing she could do…nothing at all.

"I made sure they were all in Diagon Alley…I checked the map! I…I checked the burrow, and here, and Lupin's place…" the brunette stuttered, "It's impossible…I made sure… I… H-how? It doesn't make sense… No, I can't believe it -"

"But what else do we have to believe? You read the letter just as well as I did…they tricked us." The redhead interrupted. "They _tricked_ us, and we fell for it; hook, line and sinker." Hermione just nodded slowly, watching her friend sympathetically with the crumpled letter still clutched in her sweaty hand.

"I know, Ginny… I know…"

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"She what?"

"S-she sent a letter to her mother, ma'am." Stuttered a small rat like man, by the name of Peter Pettigrew.

"Bring her to me! Now!" Bellatrix ordered, sending the man scuttling out of the stone chamber. Once she was sure he was gone she thrust her head back and let out a blood chilling cackle of glee. Her insanity took over as she laughed evilly, eyes open wide and nearly popping out of her head. She stopped laughing, but only to replace the hysterics with quiet mutterings to herself. She wrung her hands together, fidgeting and fumbling, jumping up in the air with such a look of an excited child on Christmas day, only more sinister.

Her mind was full of scenarios of her plan, each one ending with the same event; death.

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Lilly sat in the same corner again, in her cousin's cell, watching him dip in and out of consciousness. At times he would cry out, and pathetically tried to squirm his way from the chains, but he never succeeded. He took in sharp breaths once in a while, or small moans of pain.

Although it was dark Lilly could still see him quite clearly as her eyes were used to the darkness by now. She was almost positive he could not see her, as he never looked her way (on the rare occasions that he opened his eyes.)

Every night since she had sent the letter she had returned to James. She guarded her cousin in secret at every time possible, ready to pounce on attackers. The funny thing was that there _weren't any attackers_. Nobody had entered the cell, or even touched James since the first night he had come. She had been expecting daily visits, like they usually did, but nobody came… except her.

Lilly's thoughts were interrupted by a shout in the distance. She heard a slammed door, hurried footsteps and more shouts, this time mixed. She heard them shouting, and the loudest and shrillest of all was heard above them all.

"She can't be gone! FIND HER!"

Her gut dropped to her toes. She couldn't be found. Not now, not when she was in the dungeon.

She could hear the voices getting louder, the footsteps getting closer, and suddenly –

SLAM!

The big metal door into the prison had been opened.

_Please don't come this way, please, please. Not over here._

Her heart was pumping against her rib cage. She heard voices coming from down the hall way.

"Come on, lets check the left wing." A husky voice sounded and the footsteps gradually grew quieter as the people went in the other direction. She closed her eyes in relief. She had at least 10 minutes to get away. Now she had to think, was that getting away to her room, or getting away…for good? If she went back through the dungeon door, she would surely be tortured…she wasn't sure why they were looking for her, but she was sure it wasn't good. Her only choice was out, she had to run, like the coward she once was.

With her choice in mind she looked quickly around, searching for an escape route. Her eyes finally rested upon a small window just outside the barred doors of James' cell. If she could only climb up to it without being heard…maybe she could squeeze through.

She quietly went over to the cell door. Having a last glance of James she slowly and silently unlocked the door, and stepped out into the stone hallway. She turned towards the window and looked how high it was. With a look to see if the coast was clear she jumped up and caught hold onto the window ledge. Heaving herself up, she balanced one knee on the window ledge and grasped onto the wall next to her with one hand, while with the other one she put a silencing charm around the window. With another flick of her wand she blasted the cast iron bars off.

It was going all too well. She knew it was too good to be true, because the minute the bars hard been blown off silently two men appeared at the other end of the corridor, unnoticed by Lilly.

SLAM!

That was strike two. She cursed underneath her breath as her cousin's cell door banged shut.

"Over there!"

Ginny spun round suddenly, to see two death eaters sprinting towards her, wands out-stretched. Jets of light zoomed past her head as she squeezed through the small window. She could hear James screaming in fright at the sudden noise. She jumped down onto the hard earth below.

She could hear the death eaters swear loudly at her escape as she ran into the woods surrounding her. She heard a curse sound and a flash of light filled the sky, followed by a loud scream of pain. She winced as she recognised the voice.

_I'll be back for you James, I promise._

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End file.
